A Bittersweet Project Closing the Distance

 

Being in a long distance relationship for 3 years, it’s always been a dream of mine to be married, together forever with Dodong in the same time zone and country. I very confident that it would be so easy to leave everything behind: my family, my friends, my career…practically, my entire life in the Philippines. For true love, I knew I could drop everything like a hot potato and start anew, as long as Dodong was with me. But the Lord gave me an entire month to realize that leaving home is not as easy…

I missed Dodong so much, and it was quite an experience leaving him behind. So I cringed, my heart filled with disappointment and disgust, as I alighted from the Emirates airplane into the damp, shabby, grimy, dilapidated Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 1 (NAIA 1). It was such a stark contrast from the bright, spacious and shiny new airport of Dubai. And even, the other airports I’ve been to like China, Bangkok, Hong Kong, Australia, Malaysia. “Is this the way we, Filipinos, welcome our tourists? How come we’ve been so left behind my our Southeast Asian neighbors?” I asked myself, then shook my head and heaved a sigh.

My hardened heart may have seemed to have softened a bit as my entire family greeted me as I arrived with pasalubong (homecoming gifts) in tow. I missed my family: my parents, my sisters and brother, dearly in the two months I was away. It was past bedtime when I arrived, but my little sisters were still wide awake from excitement of their respective desert treats.

As my dad, whizzed through the slippery traffic maze of EDSA (a main thoroughfare in Metro Manila), I again shook my head in dismay. “This road is just a minor road in Dubai.” I shared with my family. Another disgruntled sigh from the balikbayan (a Filipino who has returned to the homeland) me.

After a day unpacking my luggage and settling down at home, the days were spent meeting my favorite people in the world: high school girlfriends, college buddies, ex-colleagues. I had almost non-stop stories on how Dubai is much better than the Philippines. Leaving this place would be oh-so-easy, I thought. Dubai is not perfect, but I think much better than what we have in the Philippines. I was restlessly waiting my Dubai visa. I missed Dodong so much and I needed to be in his arms again as soon as possible.

But then, I realized that I would be leaving everyone behind. Returning to Dubai meant no more family get togethers, no more drunken nights with the high school barkada, no more raucous reunions with YFC friends, no more career talks with college buddies and ex-colleagues, no more fri-dates with my favorite foodie duo. Was I really that excited to leave everyone behind? To part with everyone who has made my life more meaningful and just crazy fun?

Yes, the Philippines is also not perfect, appalling more often than not; but this is definitely home. I have my family and friends in the Philippines, while in Dubai I have Dodong and a chance to start a new life. I suddenly chickened out. I don’t think I can leave them all behind just yet. All these possibilities suddenly popped into my neurotic head: Maybe I can deal with a long distance marriage. Maybe the Internet is enough to keep our marriage strong. We survived 3-years being apart, so we can survive a long distance marriage right?

Then finally, my Dubai visa arrived.

This is it. No turning back. I had to leave everyone behind and join Dodong in Dubai. I pinch myself and remind the inner romantic in me that flying back to Dubai is my dream come true. This is what I’ve been waiting for…all those 9 years: married AND together in the same time zone and country.

Exactly one month after I arrived in Manila, I found myself in that same place: the damp, shabby, grimy, dilapidated NAIA 1. I was dropped off by my entire family, whom I hugged very tight and whispered my Au Revoirs (Until we see each other again) in tears. I also messaged some of my favorite people in the world to pray for a safe flight and I already miss them so much. With overweight luggage in tow, I approached the check-in counter with a heavy heart. I checked out from the Philippines, and now checked into my new life with Dodong in Dubai. I know that the Philippines surely isn’t perfect, but I sure do love it because the Philippines is home.

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay