I can't believe that I am part of the more than 11 Million Filipinos abroad already. This is my very first OFW Christmas: a Christmas thousands of miles away from home, away from the Philippines, away from my family and friends. Oh, this is my first Christmas in a Muslim country too!

I initially thought that being away from the crazy Christmas-on-steroids in the Philippines (Christmas carols already started playing on the radio as early as August! WTH!?!) would be ok…perfectly fine. I would be away from two things I hate about the Christmas season in the Philippines. Thank God! First, I am thousands of miles away from the Christmas rush traffic. Horrible I say! Manila traffic is already horrid and for some reason, its even worse during the Christmas season!?! How is that even possible right? Second, I am away from the consumerism of the holiday. I love the whole idea of giving, but I think its too commercialized already. Call me a scrooge, but I say Christmas got a tad bit consumed by consumerism.

Christmas really isn't about the traffic because of the shopping / parties and the literal gift giving. For me and millions of Filipinos abroad, especially for those who have been away for yearssss, the best Christmas celebration is simply about being and enjoying the company of family and friends. It's Christmas stripped down to the bare essentials. Being together with family and friends is precious and there is no substitute. So being together with family and friends is THE gift. No balikbayan boxes filled to the brim with Christmas gifts can never ever replace feeling the hugs and kisses, hearing the stories and the  laughter and sometimes even wiping away the tears of dear family and friends.

Kakainis ka Coca-cola for making me cry this morning! Did you cry too?

I've only been away for two months but my homesickness has increased exponentially because of this Coca-cola OFW Happiness video. I will surely miss my family and friends even MORE this holiday season. Aside from missing Christmas celebrations, I will also miss birthday celebrations of my mama, my papa and two of my sisters (Yes, we have 4 December celebrants! 4 out of 8!), plus my lola's 1st death anniversary and two weddings of dear friends. So I will be missing a LOT noh?

But in true OFW fashion, I know that I will get to cope and survive this Christmas away from family and friends just like the millions of other OFWs around the world. Thank God there is the Internet, so I think somehow I would be able to join in some celebrations. Hopefully.

Care to share any tips on how I can survive this lonely season?

Muni-muni in the desert

For anyone who has been in a long distance relationship, it is a dream come true to be physically with the significant other. So it’s now been a month through my long Dubai vacation. An entire month of being married AND physically together, in the same time zone, with Dodong. A dream come true for me. While I am enjoying it thoroughly, I find myself very homesick already. Here are the telltale signs that I am officially homesick…

I'm crazy craving for our home cooking.

Have I had my fill of grilled meats already?!?

I’ve asked my dad for some of the recipes I love from home because I do plan to replicate them over here. I do miss having decent breakfasts with heaps of rice (white rice, garlic rice or fried rice) and fried meats (tapa, tocino, bacon – yes pork bacon! – sausages, etc) with eggs. Dodong is so not a breakfast person. I do miss Sunday lunches with the entire clan. And I mean a good 30-ish people in the clan. Now, it’s just our little family: Dodong and myself. It’s not just the good food, but the chatter, the laughter of people I love around me. It’s Home and the Cooking I do miss.

I am obsessed with my Blackberry

My BB, My Laptop are my windows to the world

Dodong almost hates my Blackberry and wants to throw it out the window very soon. But my Blackberry is my lifeline to my friends back in Manila and one in New York City. The Blackberry Messenger (BBM) is just so convenient for me to get in touch with them. Anytime and anywhere! So my Blackberry is stuck to my hip as long as I am here. Dodong is just dealing with it. He will surely laugh out loud if I ended up tripping over because I keep on BBMing. Hehehe!

I long for human connection.

I do love the internet and it’s amazing powers to connect people from all over the world without leaving the comfort of home. But then I miss real people.

This is what Dodong finds sooo strange about me. He knows very well that I am such an introvert. And now, the introvert me is longing for friends in a foreign land. Yes, I said I need to have friends ASAP. And this does not include Dodong’s friends, who by association will be my friends as well. I want my OWN set of friends…like the ones I have back home. Friends

I love my husband very much, but my life here does not revolve around him. I guess I was just used to having my own life. I don’t want to lose myself in this marriage.

I know that this is part and parcel of what I signed up for and I have to suck it all in. And to think this is only the practice run! What would happen when the time comes that I will soon permanently be away from my family and friends back in Manila?!? Oh man. How to get over this…

Photo by Shayla Sanchez

Aside from the fact that I can actually document our vows, I realized that through blogging I could also document the speeches! Like our vows, the speeches by special people in our lives helped us relive our history, enjoy the present and pick up bits of wisdom for the future. You’d get to know more about our love story (or the absence of it ) through the eyes of others. Here are my favorite parts of the speeches:

Photo by Shayla Sanchez

Ryan

“ We Don't know how it REALLY started (because) It all came as a SURPRISE…We went to a mission trip in Burias (Island), leaving them behind to attend to some community activities. And lo and behold, when we got back, we got were hearing all these crazy stories: the you-can-sit-in-front-so-we-can-cuddle-at-the back incident and we had the chikinini (kiss-mark) incident and quite a couple more.

At (5) PM this afternoon, you made your vow in front of God and His Church. I encourage you to renew those vows by telling each other I LOVE YOU every (5) PM. I pray that you continue to keep HIM (who brought you together) in the center of your relationship”

TRIVIA: Ryan is one of Loving the Distance's most avid readers. Hehehehe! Friendship!

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Kaye

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder. But (Dodong and Inday) took a different route. They made sure their friends are in a very distant island before pursuing their love story.”

The couple proved that every pot has a matching cover. I don't know what people mean by opposites attract. All I know is that (Inday and Dodong) proved that you need to be able to complement each other. On times when (Inday) is a neurotic worrier! (Dodong) is a relaxed person. I hardly see (Inday) get mad. (Dodong) gets mad at anyone and anything.

3 years ng OFW si (Dodong). They made me a believer of LDRs. It's not the most ideal situation but with love, commitment and lots of effort, you can make it.

It takes one God to make this union possible. (Inday) told me once that she prayed for this relationship and she's certain that (Dodong) is god's gift to her. 

To you (Inday and Dodong), you proved to me that a relationship needs more than cheese and romance to last. You proved that it is commitment, the firm decision to weather through good times and bad that will make a union last. With this is in mind, I am confident that you will take care of this wonderful gift God gave you."

TRIVIA: Kaye was Dodong's partner in crime when he surprised me with the 7 dozen Gerberas on our 7th anniversary.

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Crixz, the Matron of Honor

"Actually, that is what I love about them… They understand each other very well. In fact, this wedding is a reflection of that. Because this wedding is a complete union of their different personalities.

(Inday and Dodong)… Please love each other. Do not forget three inportant things: respect, care and trust. And through it all, hold hands and put God in the center of your lives."

TRIVIA: Though she may be the drama queen, she almost made me super cry during our wedding. Boo! Hehehehe!

Photo by Shayla Sanchez

JR, the Best Man

"I was not actually supposed to have been his best man at this wedding. When (Dodong) first opened to me that he was getting married, he was not asking me to be his best man. He was actually inviting me to be one of his ninongs.

I may just perform the role but he is in truth the best man at this wedding: a complete package of witty yet sensitive, smart yet practical and hard yet soft in the inside.

May your love be added, may it never be subtracted, may your household multiply, and may your hearts never be divided. I wish for patience and understanding for (Dodong’s) antics and I wish for both your eyes to always see the very best in each other with the same affection and longing as when you first met."

JR is a VERY serious person. So he was not joking when he said that Dodong asked him to become one of the principal sponsors. My husband is such a riot right?

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Linus, my brother and the Groomsman

"Life will never be beautiful without the characters appreciating, understanding, loving, and participating in each others’ pains and joys, highs and lows. Let the waves crash unto you only to find yourself getting back up to ride it again. Participate in each others’ beauty and love with God, family, friends while closing your eyes only to be enchanted.”

Deep di ba? Hehehe!

Unfortunately, I was able to capture only the speeches that were prepared. The more spontaneous ones and with LOADS of ad lib like the one of my dad’s and my mother-in-law’s are not covered by this post. Sad. So lesson for the speech givers, pls prepare and give codigo!

P.S. Did you notice that most of them were reading from their Blackberrys? Blackberrys rock!

Photo by Toto Villaruel

I sure was very happy with the turnout of our wedding. The styling. The attendance. The Laughter. However, there are still some things I wished I took care of better during the wedding especially on the documentation side of things…

I wish I practiced my smiles, emote looks and poses.

Taken by Linus Paterno

I knew that as bride I would be the most photographed person of the day. Therefore, as I bride, I needed to look phenomenal in ALL photos so best smiles and slimming poses were in order. BUT since I am more of a behind-the-scenes type plus I had a gazillion things to take care of like work, getting back to health (yes I got super sick weeks before the wedding), wedding planning, practicing my smiles, emote looks and poses was the last thing on my mind. Darn.

I wish we had taken more photos. PERIOD.

Photo by Nicolai Melicor

I know we already have like 5,000++ RAW photos. But still, even after briefing the documentation team thoroughly and reviewing all our photos, I wished we did not rush the picture taking at all. Dodong and I were so worried about the well being of our guests, making sure they wouldn’t be super hungry, that we rushed picture taking Boo!

Also, after seeing the photos, I thought of so much more cool and fun photo ideas. Not that I was not happy with the shots, I just wished I thought about it more.

I wish we had taken more photobooth photos of US

Dodong and I only had ONE. OMG only one photobooth photo of us. Grrrrrrrr! That is just sad. We could have gone wild with all the cool props, but no. We only had ONE photobooth photo Super UNLIKE!

I wish we had taken more photobooth photos with our guests

We only had THREE photos with some of our guests That is also so sad. Our reception venue was on the second floor, while the photobooth was at the 1st floor. I guess we were just so busy taking care of our guests and enjoying the program to remember that we had unlimited photobooth downstairs. Sadness!

Look at how much fun they had at the photobooth…

But anyhoo, I’m still happy despite those regrets. At least I can share these with future brides-to-be so that you can also maximize that one special day to be all pretty and photographed. Hehehe!

P.S. We’d like to thank BaiCapture for being our photobooth partner for the night.

Photo by Ryan Salvanera

I was relieved to know that the Ateneo Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM) offered special one-one-one Pre-cana seminars. There is a regular schedule for the CEFAM pre-cana seminar, usually on weekends (both Saturday and Sunday). But since Dodong and I were pressed for time. We needed a quick fix to this show stopping church wedding requirement…

Show stopping because the Catholic Church requires couples to attend a Pre-Cana seminar before the wedding. Since we had a Catholic wedding, we had to attend a pre-cana seminar. Parish Churches have pre-cana seminars scheduled as well. But other Catholic organizations like CEFAM also offer the same services, which are also honored by the Church.

Best to call the CEFAM office (+632 426-4289 to 92 and look for Ms. Flor) first to check on the availability of the marriage counselor on your desired date. I made sure to schedule it when Dodong came home for a 1-week vacation last April.

Oh, the special session is slightly more expensive than the regular Pre-Cana seminar (at Php 4,000 inclusive of food for 2 days). It costs Php 4,500 (USD 105) for a whole day seminar WITHOUT food. So better prepare some extra money for food. Manang's is the most convenient eating place nearest to CEFAM But they're closed when there's no school We were just lucky it was the 1st day of summer classes. Hehehe!

After the whole day pre-cana seminar, don't forget to get the 2 certificates before leaving. These certificates are IMPORTANT! The 1st would be the Pre-marriage counselling certificate, which will be submitted to the church, and the 2nd would be the Family Planning and billings method certificate, which will be submitted to the government. Though no guarantees that the government will accept it. Sadly.

Dodong and I really enjoyed the pre-cana seminar. I myself was surprised that it was fun! Maybe it was because we were "forced" to be involved since it was an intimate one-on-one seminar. But overall, it reaffirmed the fact that Dodong and I were ready to get married At least we think so!

Photo by Toto Villaruel

When Dodong and I decided to get married, there was one thing I wanted: A super fun and happy wedding. I was sure I did not want any cheese and mush (or maybe just at the minimum level) and, most especially, tears on our wedding day. Our wedding was a CELEBRATION! Because after long years, we decided to tie the knot. Now I am so glad to share with you our secrets on how to have a super fun, happy wedding…

#1: Make it colorful!

I do love all things bright and colorful. My color palette preferences are on the warm side, so it is summer colors all the way. I chose a set of very fresh and happy colors. Some people say it was quite a lot of colors, but for me, I didn’t mind at all. I knew that these were the colors I wanted our wedding to have.

Check out some of the colorful details of our wedding…

Photo by Nicolai Melicor

Photo by Nicolai Melicor

Photo by Toto Villaruel

#2: Comfort always before style (at least for us)

I know weddings are once-in-a-lifetime chances to dress up, be pretty as a princess. But for me, my comfort will determine my sanity. I wanted to be sane on our wedding day, so I choose to be comfortable versus pretty. Dodong agrees on the stand on comfort before style. But utmost comfort did not mean that we totally skimped on style.

I made sure my wedding gown could help me breathe, move around and EAT! I worked with good friend Michi Calica for my gown. She gave me the perfect gown: a bright white, cotton eyelet gown. Totally fresh looking and comfy!

Photo by Toto Villaruel, Gown by Michi Calica

Photo by Toto Villaruel, Gown by Michi Calica

Dodong, on the other hand, got himself custom made Nike ID sneakers, which had the colors of the wedding AND some cheesy details. He had his name engraved AND the our wedding day. So cute right? He even ordered these from the US! Unfortunately, customization is not yet available in the Philippines. Sorry guys…

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Dodong and I were able to move around and entertain our guests without getting irritated. In fact, quite a number of family and friends really found the styling very cute!

#3: Invite only super close family and friends

Photo by Toto Villaruel

This was difficult. If we did not have a working budget, we would have invited as much as 300-400 people. But since we did have a ceiling budget as well as intimate space in the reception venue, we limited the guest list to super close family and friends. So Dodong and I decided to keep it at 80 pax maximum.

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Initially, we wanted to have only immediate family then close friends. Immediate family defined as parents plus siblings. I wanted to limit it just because I do come from a VERY big family with at least 50 pax from my side alone. But then upon request of the parentals, we expanded the guest list to include extended family. Since the venue was again limited, we chose to include Uncles, Aunts and a sprinkle of close cousins. The guest list then increased from 80 pax to 100 pax, which is still quite an intimate number at least for Philippine standards.

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Having super close families and friends meant understanding all the insider puns and jokes. Looking at the photos, everyone had a pretty good time laughing!

#4: Ditch some traditionals and make it your own!

We’ve been to so many weddings and the traditionals do get kinda old and boring. Duh. They are traditions, but we decided to give our wedding a more personal and fun touch. Instead of the usual singles games, like bouquet throwing or musical chairs games, we made a children’s party inspired game. Since most of our guests were newly weds as well, we threw in a couples game too. Couples should have fun at weddings too right?

Check out the photos and guess what were the mechanics of our games

Photo by Toto Villaruel

Photo by Shayla Sanchez

Photo by Nicolai Melicor

#5: Last but certainly not the least, Work within a budget

Save yourself the headache after the wedding and pay all bills on the wedding day! I was the budget keeper and made sure we did meet our target budget. Admittedly, we went a bit over because of unexpected expenses; but it was fine because we went over by just around PHP 10,000. Not bad at all right?

Looking back last June 16, our little celebration did fulfill my vision of a truly super fun, happy wedding. We were smiling and laughing (like ROTFL!) 98% of the entire wedding from the church ceremony to the reception! I wish all couples would enjoy their big day as much as we did

P.S. Thanks to Toto Villaruel, Shayla Sanchez and Nicolai Melicor of Imagine Nation Photography for our wonderful photos

Being in a long distance relationship came as both a blessing and a bane for our wedding planning. It had its ups and downs, highs and lows just like in any long distance relationship…

The Good

• I got down and dirty in wedding planning.
  • I am really a hands on person, which goes to show I am a control freak. Hehehe! So this time I get to do almost everything myself. Some brides may not enjoy this, especially if you are busy. But even with my busy schedule (crazy workload!), I made sure I devoted my nights and weekends for our wedding planning. The thing is I had no one else to delegate this to right?
• Dodong minimal intervention.
  • This is not to say that the groom did not intervene with any of the details in the wedding. Dodong had his say (surprisingly, more than what I expected) because he was a major stakeholder in the wedding. He was the “Godfather” of our wedding (even though I had my fair share of the expenses). So he had his say in the big ticket items like the Church, the Reception venue and the food. But then in the minute details, like table numbers. the cord, the gift wrapping, I was given more freedom to work on them.
• I got to bond with my sisters, my mom and other super friends.
  • Even OC, hands-on brides also need some help! I am so glad I had my sisters, my mom and my super friends (especially my matron of honor) to at least keep me company in errands galore I had so much fun and miss them so much already!

The Bad

• Conjugal Pre-requisites need to be planned extra carefully.
  • Admittedly, wedding requirements are not long distance relationship friendly. There are a number of requirements including the marriage license, pre-that needed the physical presence of Dodong. I guess, both the Church and the government have not explored a work around for this. We were blessed that Dodong had the chance to come home so we could work on the requirements together. The timings of Dodong’s leaves and mine as well were mapped out ever so carefully to make sure all conjugal requirements were accounted for.
• I had no driver.
  • I love commuting and can commute anywhere in Metro Manila. But the thing is, there were times that I needed a driver like when it was raining cats and dogs or there were  literally heavy loads to be lifted. I knew if Dodong was with me, he would drive me around…even if against his will. Hehehe!

So far these are my experiences in our wedding planning with me in Metro Manila and Dodong in far, far away Dubai. I know of some couples with different LDR wedding planning situations like the groom in Manila and the bride elsewhere. I'd love to know how you guys have planned for together apart. Any learnings to share?

Image from Tales from Shop

I’m so PROUD to say that our wedding is really OUR WEDDING. I know in my heart (and so does my wallet) that it is 100% Dodong and Inday’s wedding. Let me count the ways…

1st, Dodong and I paid for 100% of our wedding.

So what if we paid for our wedding? Don't all couples pay for their own weddings? Hmmm…not in the Philippines. There are cases where both parents (bride and grooms) shoulder the entire wedding expenses. Or sometimes parents pay for a large share of the wedding expenses. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. BUT, in my humble opinion, when both have been working for X number of years, shouldn’t you be capable of raising funds for a wedding? Just a thought.

In our case, we did pay for it every single cent. It was a challenge, raising money for the big day. But I am so thankful and blessed that we were able to do it TOGETHER.

He actually offered to shoulder 100%, but I declined. In my  mind, if this was OUR wedding, expenses should be shared. I know, I know. Some girls would say that I should have taken the offer. BUT, just as in business, to be a major decision maker, one must be a major stakeholder in the project. Hehehe. Hence, I paid for my fair share too So you will see a lot of my personal touches in the wedding…which leads me to the second point.

2nd, Our wedding concept reflected our personalities!

Being the major stakeholders of the wedding, so it was OURS to make. The parentals had minor inputs and basically the show was OURS. Hehehe!

It was mostly mine, as like with most guys, they are not as interested in the wedding frou frou details. But Dodong was firm on what he wanted and more of what he didn’t want in the wedding. So I took his inputs into serious consideration. Of course, he was a major stake holder too

It was seriously hard work. Busy weekends. Sleepless nights. Seemingly endless debates (yes, we fought over a lot of things too). But in the end, I think it was worth it because this is the beginning of OUR life together as husband and wife

3rd, last but not the least, this wedding is proudly OURS because we did not get into debt!

I've noticed in the wedding fairs that I've visited that the credit card and bank loan guys have been pushing and pushing and pushing their products for to-be-weds to avail. But I believe in two things:

1. Spending outrageously for a wedding, which is just ONE DAY, is ridiculous. You have a whole marriage to look after pa…which is a lifetime. One day versus a lifetime?
2. Starting a marriage in debt is a NO, NO, NO!!! My family has been in debt and it is not a pretty picture. I know I don't want to start on that path.

So I am proud to say that every single penny has been paid for already. No credit card bills. No bank loans. No balance payments anymore. We are starting fresh! A fresh new beginning and I am sooooo excited!

Image from antisubliminal.tumblr.com

I was never one of those girls who knew what design their wedding gowns would be, how tall the wedding cake would be or what song would be playing in the background as they marched down the long carpeted church aisle. I knew that I wanted to get married to the love of my life, so the details weren't as important then. But when we decided to get married, that's when my mind went ballistic with the details! Hahaha!

After some contemplating (and picking up learnings from various weddings attended – seeing other people's weddings gave me an idea of what I didn't want on our wedding), I then knew what was my idea of our dream wedding…

When I say birth, I literally mean give birth. I haven't had the chance to give birth YET, but I do know that it is difficult and at the same time fulfilling. Our dream wedding was quite a challenge to crack. We  wanted a bit of tradition, so it had to be a church wedding for sure. But we hated some of the hoity toity wedding frivolities like the stuffy, itchy, froufrou formal outfits and putting us on the hot seat. So we had a delicate balancing act to do. Oh did I also mention working within a budget? Oh and add to that parental requests? It was hard men! So how do you marry all of those with our own parameters???

We wanted it simple and intimate. We wanted it comfortably casual (but not too much). Most of all, we just wanted it to be a happy non-mushy celebration. Not much cheese, so hold on to the cheese please. I  racked my brains for days to come up with the perfect motif / theme. Then finally, it came to this:

But even if it was a pain, it felt so damn good knowing that this is our dream wedding.

Forever is worth the wait

I honestly do not remember the exact details on how we decided to get married. Isn't it so un-girly like? I guess it was just the ever looming question since we've been together for soooo long. 9 years as of yesterday to be exact…

Ever since my tweetums highschool days, I've prayed that I would end of marrying my first boyfriend  For those of you who don't know, Dodong is actually my very first  boyfriend Now that we're married, he is officially my first and last boyfriend. Bongga di ba? God really listened to my prayers!

Now my prayers will be different. I pray to the Good Lord to continue bless our marriage and really be with us forever…