I can't believe that I am part of the more than 11 Million Filipinos abroad already. This is my very first OFW Christmas: a Christmas thousands of miles away from home, away from the Philippines, away from my family and friends. Oh, this is my first Christmas in a Muslim country too!

I initially thought that being away from the crazy Christmas-on-steroids in the Philippines (Christmas carols already started playing on the radio as early as August! WTH!?!) would be ok…perfectly fine. I would be away from two things I hate about the Christmas season in the Philippines. Thank God! First, I am thousands of miles away from the Christmas rush traffic. Horrible I say! Manila traffic is already horrid and for some reason, its even worse during the Christmas season!?! How is that even possible right? Second, I am away from the consumerism of the holiday. I love the whole idea of giving, but I think its too commercialized already. Call me a scrooge, but I say Christmas got a tad bit consumed by consumerism.

Christmas really isn't about the traffic because of the shopping / parties and the literal gift giving. For me and millions of Filipinos abroad, especially for those who have been away for yearssss, the best Christmas celebration is simply about being and enjoying the company of family and friends. It's Christmas stripped down to the bare essentials. Being together with family and friends is precious and there is no substitute. So being together with family and friends is THE gift. No balikbayan boxes filled to the brim with Christmas gifts can never ever replace feeling the hugs and kisses, hearing the stories and the  laughter and sometimes even wiping away the tears of dear family and friends.

Kakainis ka Coca-cola for making me cry this morning! Did you cry too?

I've only been away for two months but my homesickness has increased exponentially because of this Coca-cola OFW Happiness video. I will surely miss my family and friends even MORE this holiday season. Aside from missing Christmas celebrations, I will also miss birthday celebrations of my mama, my papa and two of my sisters (Yes, we have 4 December celebrants! 4 out of 8!), plus my lola's 1st death anniversary and two weddings of dear friends. So I will be missing a LOT noh?

But in true OFW fashion, I know that I will get to cope and survive this Christmas away from family and friends just like the millions of other OFWs around the world. Thank God there is the Internet, so I think somehow I would be able to join in some celebrations. Hopefully.

Care to share any tips on how I can survive this lonely season?

Muni-muni in the desert

For anyone who has been in a long distance relationship, it is a dream come true to be physically with the significant other. So it’s now been a month through my long Dubai vacation. An entire month of being married AND physically together, in the same time zone, with Dodong. A dream come true for me. While I am enjoying it thoroughly, I find myself very homesick already. Here are the telltale signs that I am officially homesick…

I'm crazy craving for our home cooking.

Have I had my fill of grilled meats already?!?

I’ve asked my dad for some of the recipes I love from home because I do plan to replicate them over here. I do miss having decent breakfasts with heaps of rice (white rice, garlic rice or fried rice) and fried meats (tapa, tocino, bacon – yes pork bacon! – sausages, etc) with eggs. Dodong is so not a breakfast person. I do miss Sunday lunches with the entire clan. And I mean a good 30-ish people in the clan. Now, it’s just our little family: Dodong and myself. It’s not just the good food, but the chatter, the laughter of people I love around me. It’s Home and the Cooking I do miss.

I am obsessed with my Blackberry

My BB, My Laptop are my windows to the world

Dodong almost hates my Blackberry and wants to throw it out the window very soon. But my Blackberry is my lifeline to my friends back in Manila and one in New York City. The Blackberry Messenger (BBM) is just so convenient for me to get in touch with them. Anytime and anywhere! So my Blackberry is stuck to my hip as long as I am here. Dodong is just dealing with it. He will surely laugh out loud if I ended up tripping over because I keep on BBMing. Hehehe!

I long for human connection.

I do love the internet and it’s amazing powers to connect people from all over the world without leaving the comfort of home. But then I miss real people.

This is what Dodong finds sooo strange about me. He knows very well that I am such an introvert. And now, the introvert me is longing for friends in a foreign land. Yes, I said I need to have friends ASAP. And this does not include Dodong’s friends, who by association will be my friends as well. I want my OWN set of friends…like the ones I have back home. Friends

I love my husband very much, but my life here does not revolve around him. I guess I was just used to having my own life. I don’t want to lose myself in this marriage.

I know that this is part and parcel of what I signed up for and I have to suck it all in. And to think this is only the practice run! What would happen when the time comes that I will soon permanently be away from my family and friends back in Manila?!? Oh man. How to get over this…

It seems like I'm a lone soldier this Christmas

This, I think, is the very question that is the core of the story of us girls in long distance relationships: Does he miss me???!!!???  How many times do you find yourself asking this very question?

Despite of and in spite of all the happenings (or non-happenings) in my life, I still manage to think about this question at least once a day…

Hmmm…maybe not just once a day, but even twice or thrice. I just can't help but wonder: Does he miss me at all?

We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 3-years now and I find myself missing him every single day. Dodong says he misses me too. But…

Sometimes I feel that he does. Sometimes I feel that he doesn't. Maybe he does, but he just A) tries to steer clear of such girly emotions and moves along in his challenging OFW life or B) fails to express it the way I need him to.

Guys (like Dodong) can be seemingly oblivious to all these mushy feelings of missing each other and it is such a MAJOR PAIN in the ass. This happens often and is one of the the causes of long distance relationship squabbles. Sad right? You end up fighting because you just miss each other so much. Oh the irony of it all.

Sucks to be us, most especially in this holiday season of getting together. This is perhaps the loneliest and most miserable season for me (because we – Dodong and I – don't celebrate Valentine's at all). So can I still say that I love the distance this time around? Maybe not this time. I am still thinking (bordering on going cuckoo) if he does miss me at all…

Look at my beautiful Lola

The waiting finally ended as my lola finally joined her Creator last Sunday, December 12 2010, at 730PM.

It's been a tiring week for the entire family, especially for my lolo, who survived her. He is still grieving as of this every moment, and we are praying that he will soon come to his senses and accept that this end is really the beginning…

"Your loving is like a beautiful red rose'" - To Lola from Phoebe

The beginning of new lessons learned.

The beginning of renewed family bonds

The beginning of  lifelong friendships

The beginning of  family additions SOON.

Seeing my lolo (who was restrained by 5 of his children from jumping into the cemetery plot) yesterday at the funeral kept me thinking: What if Dodong would move on to the next life????

I think I'd be as devastated as he was…maybe even more? Wouldn't it be so lonely to have the one you love the most gone forever and ever? Most especially if it would happen while we are apart. That would be the ultimate pits. But really, no one knows when. So this would be the beginning of more living and loving each second together apart…

Again, a big thank you to everyone who offered their prayers. Pls do continue praying for our family

Sebastian's Ice Cream for one please

I've realized that I've spending a lot of time alone. The big introvert that I am (for those who don't believe that I'm one, uhhhh YES I am an introvert), I really do value the me time. Some things are just best done alone even if these were supposedly social activities…

Going to the gym

I am so not the social gym rat. No offense to those who enjoy trooping to the gym with the rest of their girlfriends, but I just consider the gym as my personal sanctuary. I definitely do not want people to catch up with the latest kwentos in the middle of my workout with me sweating like a pig.

Eating out.

Unlike other people who cannot eat on their own, I do sometimes prefer to eat alone. I like to treat myself like that, splurging on a good (sometimes even very expensive) meal. I find my peace in savoring every spoonful of food.

Watching a movie.

This past 4 weeks, I watched 2 movies: The Social Network and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, alone. People in the movie house gave me such strange looks when I took my seat in the theatre. Aren't we allowed to get some me time even in the movie houses? Hindi naman bawal manood ng sine mag-isa di ba?

But even if I did have fun with my alone time, the sad thing is the more I realize that I really need him here…

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

The gates to loneliness are empty.

When one (or rather two since a couple is involved) is in a long distance relationship, both must expect fairly regular dealings with the sickness of LDR loneliness. One sickness that I am going through at this very moment. One sickness that I loathe to the core because it's so hard to get out of…plus it is regular in long distance relationships.

Do you have your bouts of LDR loneliness too?

I would like to reiterate that I do get them, at least once a month. Sometimes I feel that people think that I'm ok and that it's a breeeze since it's been two years. But it's not…

There are times that…

• I cry myself to sleep because Dodong thinks that he can't talk to me plus I'm nahihiya to tell other people.
• I treat myself to a good meal to offset the loneliness. Very expensive at times.
• I go to my favorite massage place (Tonton's Thai Massage at the moment) and get a two-hour body massage. Expensive too.
• I just walk around like a zombie in a crowded mall.
• I stare into space. Okay, this is similar to the previous one.
• I write a lonely email to Dodong.
• Or yes, write a blog post like this one.

How do you deal with your seasons of LDR loneliness?

Love the distance (Do I really??? I just hate it sometimes),

Inday I. Nagintay

I am Lonely as this sculpture

Work has been so tiring for me and Dodong in these past two-three weeks. I'm quite new at work, been attending back-to-back-to-back meetings at the same time reading emails, doing reports and all at work. PLUS, I still have my projects on the side: another blog to maintain, writing projects, financial planning sessions, and more. On the other hand, Dodong has been handed over a shitload of work, transferring to another group in his desert office.

I feel like a star in my career right now (at least I think so. Hehehe!), but it's been just lonely…

I'm so happy with the wins at work, but sad that Dodong is not here to share those wins with me. I was soooo exhausted (pero super happy naman!) from work the past nights that I just wished that Dodong were here to give a big hug after a loooooooong day at work. It's just one of those dayssssss.

Have you ever felt the same way? You shine so brightly but there's no one to share it with. Well, at least like physically.

HAY.

I know I owe you guys the Loving the Distance blog anniversary contest winner, but I'm just to beat to process it and I felt I have to let this out.

HAY.

Hope it's okay if I take a bit of a breather. Even for just a day. Is it?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Killing loneliness doesn't have to be a suicide mission

Earlier this week, I was just feeling down in the dumps wanting to rid this gripping feeling of loneliness.In our almost two-years in a long distance relationship, the loneliness pops up, creeps up once in a while…maybe even regularly. Once a month? Once in a quarter? I have not taken note of the patterns just yet. But it never totally disappears. I just wanted to kill it. Yes, kill the loneliness. At least temporarily.

And I worked hard to do so. What best killed that bastard called loneliness this time?

A wee bit of reassurance from Dodong

I was afraid to share the heaviness of the loneliness load with Dodong but I knew I just had to. I had to go straight to the "source" of all loneliness. And I just literally poured my heart out…it wasn't a pretty sight. Well, he didn't see it since we did not engage in webcam chat (I guess it would be painful for him too. Another nuisance of a long distance relationship). So tears, tears, and more tears galore.

But then after two consecutive nights of loneliness dumping, I did feel better. Plus it made me fall in love all over again with Dodong because he truly does love me seeing me going through that emotional ordeal. Thank you.

A whole lot of comfort from friends

I just had to share the load. So I emailed and chatted with my friends, M and C, who've known me since grade school. They know Dodong and our LDR (well, they've seen us grow through the 7+ years) I even wrote a loooooooooong loneliness sob story on Facebook. Their listening ears and reality-slapping words helped put things back into perspective.

And just getting out of the house, meeting up with other friends, made the overpowering loneliness slowly fade away…

Last, but not the least, some booze and good food

Okay, I am a certified food addict. When I'm lonely, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. Hehehe. So in this case, I treated myself to some good eats at the ff: Qasa 61 with my good friend E and her boyfriend C, Uncle Moe's Shawarma with C and Le Ching with myself (Okay, I'm such an addict I can actually eat out by myself).

Booze? I had a little. Not so much. But there's something about being inebriated that messes up with your feelings. In my case, it did in a good way.

So today, I am definitely feeling much better. Loneliness killed…again, at least temporarily. So it's back to regular long distance relationship programming

How do you kill your LDR loneliness?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

2 out of my 3 weddings for JANUARY alone!

2010 is definitely a year peppered with WEDDINGS. Gosh. I'm not sure if weddings are a trend nowadays or if I am in that stage in life already. But this January alone, I will attend 3 weddings! (Well, I've attended one last night so 1 down) 3 weddings in a month! CRAZY! There are more lining up for later this year. So it's really just crazy, crazy, crazy wedding year.

At first, I did thought that attending weddings on my own was okay. I can survive. It's just like any other party I go to alone. BUT no, I must say it is different. It makes me feel more alone…lonely…sigh.

So how do I survive weddings without Dodong, my plus one??? I do try. So here goes…

Dress to the nines!

I must admit I am not much of a fashion person. So I hardly get to prettify, dress up and all. Weddings are the perfect opportunity to buy a new dress (which unfortunately I do not have the budget yet for) and be all girly

I know sayang Dodong would not be able to see me in a dress. But I can always take a solo pic and email it to him right? Oh, yea. I already did email him my look from last night's wedding

Check if you have at least one friend who is attending

I am not much of a friendly friend to all person. What i noticed is that i am really close to the bride. Obviously, the bride cannot entertain me on her wedding day right?

So I kind of ask my bride friends who amongst our friends are also invited. Hehehe. Then I do (I did yesterday) my texting rounds to check if they will be there.

Make sure you are seated in a table with your friend/s

Upon RSVPing for the wedding, I did ask again my bride friends, with whom am I seated with. I just wanted to double, triple, quadruple check that I had someone to talk to while at the reception.

Thank God (oh, the bride and her wedding planners) that I was seated with some familiar faces last night. I was about to go crazy with loneliness…almost.

Chitchat and reconnect with friend/s: old and new

Last night, my college blockmate came in late. But this was a blessing in disguise as I was able to reconnect with a college batchmate It was interesting to hear where people are, what they are doing and how they have changed through the years.

It was just a chance to spruce up my people skills as I am a bit of a hermit in terms of socializing, small talking. Hey, I was sincere in striking up my conversations. Hehehehe. Not just for the sake of talking to another warm human body.

Take LOTS of pictures

Unfortunately, since my camera is still not functioning as well as it could have, I was not able to do so. But taking photos would be a good way to just take note of details for future reference…Perhaps for my own wedding in the near future? I hope!

Drown yourself in good food and BOOZE!

Last night, the buffet spread was smorgasbord. But unfortunately, there was no booze. No mobile shooters bar, which is quite the trend nowadays, or even just the usual bar.

If there was just a mobile bar last night, I would have drowned in the shooters. FYI I prefer sweet cocktails (that don't have the alcohol taste) over bitter beer. Of course, I would not (hopefully) get myself drunk though. I'd drink responsibly

Okay this last tip is the telltale sign that I am lonely. Hehehe. Would it be bordering on pathetic? I hope not.

But this is the best tip I can give on how to survive a wedding without your plus one:

Ask the bride if you can have another plus one

Not a romantic plus one silly! Perhaps a gay friend or another girl friend, who would be willing to share a romantic wedding with you. At least you're sure to have someone. It wouldn't hurt to ask right?

Weddings are celebrations to be truly happy about. So despite the fact that Dodong is miles away from me, the show must go on and I must celebrate along with the newly weds! Weeee!

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

P.S. Pls do forgive the sucky photos as my camera is still…uhm, broken. Awaiting funding from the universe for my NEW LUMIX LX3 Watch out!

Stuffing myself silly is not the same without YOU

Last year, due to visa concerns, Dodong was able to spend Christmas here at home. But this year is different. After his 2-week vacation, he had to go back to the desert for work. So unlike most OFWs, most kabayans, who are home for the holidays, Dodong is in the desert, working while trying to recreate the Christmas celebrations with fellow kabayans. Is your honey home or away for the holidays too?

This is Dodong's first Christmas away from home in a foreign non-Christian land. Plus, this is our first Christmas apart…

Although when he's home, we do spend Christmas with our respective families, but then again, the whole getting together of families and friends just adds to the "missing him" mood. Thanks to technology, we would be able to be "together" this Christmas despite the distance between us…

Long distance Christmas phone patch

Once the clock strikes 12mn in Dubai time (approximately 4am Philippine time), I will be giving Dodong a call. Thank God for lower long distance call rates, I'd be able to call him without hurting my pocket as much. For Globe subscribers like myself, just dial 12800 + country code + area code + telephone number. Instead of being charged per minute, your call will be charged per second at Php 0.17 per second. Not bad right?

Live streamed Noche Buena

Hmmm with the time difference (4-hours), I think that our food would be wiped out by then. Hehehe! I'm asking Dodong if he could live stream their Christmas celebration. I could join in their kabayan Christmas celebration too It actually is a blessing that Christmas Eve falls on a Thursday which is the last day of the work week over there.

I just wish I could fly in a Christmas Ham to share the Pinoy love this Christmas day. Would you send a Christmas Ham for him?

Merry Christmas everyone! Don't be blue, technology is there for you Be happy that someone out there (literally) is there wishing you all the best for this Christmas

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay