Shopping isn't for girls only. Na-ah.

This afternoon turned into an unplanned shopping spree. It started out with a purchase at Sanuk, a long coveted pair of summer sandals (I've always been a summer girl). Then some undies from Bench's new collection. And 50% off steals at Bayo with the last pair of cute brown satin wedges and ruby red ballet slip-ons and some shirts made me swipe the hell out of my credit card. I've reached my monthly shopping quota in a single afternoon. Darn.

Enumerating my purchases reminds me of Dodong. A LOT. Because in the years that we've been apart, long distance relationship mode, I've realized that he's more of a girl than I am. I will enumerate why…

He shops when depressed.

Times have been challenging in the desert. So every time the going gets tough (stressful at work and all), Dodong troops to the trusty and numerous malls in the city and goes SHOPPING! From his all-time favorite brand Nike to his new found brand Fred Perry. My gash. Natalo ako talaga!

I have to even get into the right move and groove to start shopping. Plus its really at least once a month. Not even on a regular monthly basis or I just have to wait out for sale season. Come to think of it, hindi nga e. I hate going to crowded malls kc!

He loves chocolate more than I do.

Yes, I do not like chocolate. I eat it but it's not something I crave for. Or go crazy over especially in times of loneliness.

Dodong LOVES chocolates. He would pay for an eat-all-you-can chocolate buffet. He would hoard chocolates galore of all shapes and sizes. I remember that even in his 1st Dubai homecoming, he brought home camel-milk chocolates. Don't even ask me what it tastes like because I did not even get to taste a single piece. My sisters ate them all! Hehehe!

He's very fickle minded.

Both of us are planning something big for the near future. Since what we are planning is here in the Philippines, I am the designated go-to person. Obviously, since he is out of the country da ba? I research and go on ocular inspections and do follow ups.

And it is just soooo hard to please him. I have a clear idea of the plan, but Dodong has a gazillion ideas. We've been planning this for around 2-3months and have not nailed down a solid plan! Gah! So are girls the only ones fickle minded eh?

Isn't Dodong such a girl too? But trust me he's not gay. It's just these LDR loneliness moments that drive him crazy I guess.

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Many a times I do wonder and ponder: when my ONE-ness end? When will I get to enjoy events and whatnots with my plus ONE?

I don’t want to end up being the odd ONE out every single time. And I am super relieved that this is one of the things that Dodong and I do agree on (Believe me there are a gazillion things we do not agree on). Our being in a LDR is just a temporary state.

We both are working real hard (It’s been a week since my last post as I’ve had my hands tied and sucky Internet service to deal with) to get ourselves out of the LDR. Yes, we are happy in the LDR state. But who doesn’t want to be physically together with their one true love?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

P.S. I'd like to get to know you better so hope you could answer a quick survey here.

A LDR built on Trust...FTW!

Again, I would like to reiterate that our long distance relationship is so not perfect. We also do get the usual LDR squabbles, especially since I am quite the jealous type. Yes I can get very jealous. Hehehe. I do have my issue which I attribute to a trauma in the past.

And so my loving the distance dream # 3 is for all LDR couples to establish trust, meaning a whole lot of honesty and just being conscious about keeping the relationship status by buzzing away temptations. This gets pretty sticky.

Don't you think this is one of the most difficult LDR challenge of the all? Is this true for the guys or for the girls as well?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Pls take good care of me...

I've realized this loving the distance dream during my regular walks up the hill ALONE at night under the blanket of stars. A romantic moment but then again I am ALONE. I do feel SO alone. And I realize that at the end of the day, I just want to be taken cared of…which is quite the challenge with the distance.

I want Dodong to pick me up and bring me home during late nights at work (or at leisure). I want Dodong to cook me chicken noodle soup (or any soup for that matter) when I am sick. I want Dodong to hold my hand when I am scared. I want Dodong to truly be able to take care of me…even if he is far, far away. And, of course, I do want to take care of him too.

How can you take care of somebody far, far away???

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Seeing Happy Balloons amidst the dirt and drime

I can't believe that I am almost at my 100th post (my 99th to be exact!) and it's been almost 2 years since Dodong left the country for greener pastures in the Dubai sands. Sometimes I do feel like a broken record going on and on about our long distance relationship: how much I miss Dodong, how much I want to be with him, how much I want to kill the loneliness. But still here I am sharing my innermost feelings with you guys (whoever you are out there).

Because I do have dreams, I do have Loving the distance dreams. And the very first one is this: For all couples in long distance relationships to see the light in LOVE. I do believe that this will help all of us get through. Yes, it is lonely, but, at the end of it all, someone, hundreds and even thousands of miles away from us, loves us through and through.

Are you guys with me on this?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

P.S. I'm just so happy because I was able to upload my photos using my Flickr account Success!

Photo from www.iseeyouseeingme.wordpress.com

YES!!! You've read it right. Dodong is back home…but for only three days. A quickie homecoming! Happy but sad Happy because he is home. OF COURSE! And sad since it's only three days. But what the heck, he's home!

SOOOOO….I will be on blogging hiatus this week. Hehehe. I hope you'd understand that every homecoming second counts.

Tootles!

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

I should have stumbled upon this song eons ago! But thank God for friends who are also in long distance relationships who have posted interesting info on their facebook pages. So a special shout out to Ankat Salamat! Muchos Gracias! Danke!

This is precisely the feeling I share with thousands, oh maybe millions of people in long distance relationships far and wide: it's just so damn hard being apart! Every single day, I do wish that Dodong would be home to share so many milestones (and pitfalls) in my life. But we can't really. He has to be there and I have to be here.

Argh! Grabe this song! And without further ado, here are the lyrics to this uber PERFECT long distance relationship song…

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.
And i`m running out of things to do to get you off my mind (oh whoa).
All i have is this picture in a frame (oh ah),
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be,
But we`re stuck where we are.
It`s so hard, you`re so far..
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me,
But we`re stuck where we are
It`s so hard, you`re so far.. (so hard, you`re so far..)
This long distance is killing me.

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days.. (whoa oh whoa)
While i`m away (way-ay)
You know right now i can`t be home (ah)
But i`m coming home soon (ah)
Coming home soon.. (ah a hah)
All i have is this picture in a frame (ah),
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be (where i`d rather be..),
But we`re stuck where we are (oh oh).
It`s so hard, (oh ah) you`re so far.. (oh ah)
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me),
But we`re stuck where we are (oh oh)
It`s so hard, (oh ah) you`re so far.. (oh ah)

Can you hear me crying?
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Ooh woo whoa ah ah oh ah (oh-oh ah!)
Uh ah uh ah whoa0h ah (oh-oh oh-oh)

With you is where i`d rather be (where i`d rather be..) whoa!
(but we`re stuck where we are) oh!
(it`s so hard) so hard (your so far), so far
(this long distance is killing me) this long distance is killing me
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me) me..
(but we`re stuck where we are) stuck where we are! so hard! so far
This long distance is killing me

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.

I do love what the distance has done for me and Dodong, but I really can't deny the fact that it is not easy. Oh yes, so many songs to pass the time but sometimes even listening to too much songs does make me crazy.

What to you do to get you past the missing you crazy stage?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Killing loneliness doesn't have to be a suicide mission

Earlier this week, I was just feeling down in the dumps wanting to rid this gripping feeling of loneliness.In our almost two-years in a long distance relationship, the loneliness pops up, creeps up once in a while…maybe even regularly. Once a month? Once in a quarter? I have not taken note of the patterns just yet. But it never totally disappears. I just wanted to kill it. Yes, kill the loneliness. At least temporarily.

And I worked hard to do so. What best killed that bastard called loneliness this time?

A wee bit of reassurance from Dodong

I was afraid to share the heaviness of the loneliness load with Dodong but I knew I just had to. I had to go straight to the "source" of all loneliness. And I just literally poured my heart out…it wasn't a pretty sight. Well, he didn't see it since we did not engage in webcam chat (I guess it would be painful for him too. Another nuisance of a long distance relationship). So tears, tears, and more tears galore.

But then after two consecutive nights of loneliness dumping, I did feel better. Plus it made me fall in love all over again with Dodong because he truly does love me seeing me going through that emotional ordeal. Thank you.

A whole lot of comfort from friends

I just had to share the load. So I emailed and chatted with my friends, M and C, who've known me since grade school. They know Dodong and our LDR (well, they've seen us grow through the 7+ years) I even wrote a loooooooooong loneliness sob story on Facebook. Their listening ears and reality-slapping words helped put things back into perspective.

And just getting out of the house, meeting up with other friends, made the overpowering loneliness slowly fade away…

Last, but not the least, some booze and good food

Okay, I am a certified food addict. When I'm lonely, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. Hehehe. So in this case, I treated myself to some good eats at the ff: Qasa 61 with my good friend E and her boyfriend C, Uncle Moe's Shawarma with C and Le Ching with myself (Okay, I'm such an addict I can actually eat out by myself).

Booze? I had a little. Not so much. But there's something about being inebriated that messes up with your feelings. In my case, it did in a good way.

So today, I am definitely feeling much better. Loneliness killed…again, at least temporarily. So it's back to regular long distance relationship programming

How do you kill your LDR loneliness?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Today is quite a lonely day. I hate it. I am definitely feeling EMO. And while surfing, I stumbled upon this song: Killing Loneliness by HIM.

Perfect.

The lyrics don't make any sense in my teary state. But what the heck. I just want to kill this loneliness…

Memories, sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Nailed to the cross, together
As solitude begs us to stay
Disappear in the lie forever
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Killing loneliness

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me

So how do you kill your loneliness? HELP.

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Bond strengthened by the distance

It was fate to have reconnected with Shelley during our high school reunion last December. She was recently married to her husband, Dave, who is in the US Navy based in Japan last October.

What is extra cute about this couple: Dave shares his version of their love story And I think he is a gem since not all guys are like that. Hehehe. I know Dodong isn't! Well I think at least now he isn't. Hehehe. Dave writes extensively but I assure you it is worth your time

Here is Dave and Shelley's story on Loving the Distance….

Share with us your long distance love story.

After graduating from college in 2006, I decided to take off to the United States to live with my mom and dad and to seek opportunities. Parting was one of the hardest moments we have felt, and this is really a big, big step especially after being solidly together for 5 years.

Nights of conversations became loneliness at times. Longing for each other could really get depressing too.

The following year I landed a job working for the US Navy. To go through the stage of the boot camp training, we need to be isolated for about 3 months meaning, no internet nor phone calls. We were only allowed one phone call to tell immediate family members that we safely arrived the recruitment center. I opted to call Shelley to tell her that everything's fine. The best thing I could tell her everything is through snail mail. Each and every time someone delivers letters, I would always wait that one that came from the Philippines. I believe that those moments were the loneliest.

After boot camp training and "A" school, I requested to be assigned in Okinawa Japan in a Naval Hospital so that there will just be a little time difference to where Shelley's at, and thankfully, it was granted! Nearer, but still apart, Shelley and I kept the communication lines open and the fondness grew stronger despite the distance. We could not say for sure that it was as smooth sailing as before, but every time I plan to go back, I always find myself anxious to come home to the Philippines just to be with her again. On December of 2008, During one of my trips back home, Shelley and I went to Boracay island to officially ask for her hand.

A year after, which was our 8th year being together, we got married on the 26th of October 2009 at the Mandaluyong City Hall of Justice. We had a simple gathering with family members only.  It was one the happiest days of our lives.  After the ceremonies, we went out and had simple dinner at Makati. Though simple the celebrations were, we were both glad we finally did it! And now, I am in the process of taking care of the paperwork that will get her to me, for good.

What are the Top 3 Challenges you have faced in your LDR?

Making use of technology to nurture that LOVE!

1. TRUST – For you to trust someone most of the time, it requires you to be there to see for yourself what's happening. Believe me, no room for errors on this one. Once broken, it'll be as twice as difficult to fix.
2. Physical presence – The touch, kiss, hugs, etc… are still different when they are felt rather that typed. Being in a steady relationship for 5 years made it really challenging for us. However, the anticipation would always gets us excited, making us feel that it was all worth the wait.
3. Misunderstanding – Yes, even in simple cases of typing messages, emails, even the tone in speaking could be misleading and thus simple petty fights can happen, which shouldn't have to begin with.

How did the distance help you build your relationship into what it is now?

The Proposal!

The distance made us struggle because it's hard when you badly want someone to comfort you when no one else is there. However, it builds you as a person because it makes you stronger to think that it's…just distance!  It made us stronger in a way that through an experience such as this, you will now know what you have to do and how to cope with it. Distance helped us both grow in a way and helped a lot in our maturity as individuals.  It helped us learn that complaining would just stress us both. Instead, find solutions! If it doesn't work, try again! Distance is now just a factor, and not a problem anymore.

What are the Top 3 words of wisdom you can share to those in LDRs like yourselves?

Yiheee! KISS!

1. Communication is ALWAYS the key. It is much easier now than in pre-historic times! Also, be clear with the messages you are sending out and never assume. If anythings unclear, ask away. "Tampuhans" can only worsen it.
2. Have a plan, the PLAN being in the end you'll end up together. Just like what a wise man once said, "begin with the end in mind".
3. Make every effort to get each other closer to you physically or emotionally. In our case, we are both diligently working on our paper work to get to that goal of being there physically. On the emotional aspect, daily assurance is also a key factor.

See? You can make it through the distance just as Dave and Shelley did Keep that love alive guys!

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

P.S. If you want to share your own long distance love story, email us@lovingthedistance.com