I am definitely committed.

Dodong and I have come to a point that our long distance relationship is in a routine. Often predictable and sometimes boring. We go on with our daily lives at work and at home, interspersed with lots of texts and short chats. Sometimes mundane. Sometimes serious.

I mentioned boring. Yes, I assure you it can be. But does boring put me off?

Honestly, yes. But I think I'd rather have boring than on the rocks. Don't you agree? The sparks are definitely still there, but they just come in bursts. Hehehe.

Rest assured, no matter what, I still am here for Dodong every step of this long distance relationship we have. I know that this is not a permanent state. So I am really just looking forward to that future together.

Do you share that same long distance commitment?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Inday and Dodong wants to play!

I've read somewhere that playing games actually does help in relationship building…especially in the long distance relationship setting. So there is really such a thing as a relationship game, long distance relationship game.

To tell you honestly, Dodong and I do not play games but were doing great. Hmmm come to think of it…Does sharing Plants versus Zombies experiences count as games? Hehehe! That is the only game experience we've had.

Have you and your special someone tried doing relationship games to spice up the distance?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

I was like this for the past 3 days.

Lately, Dodong and I have been getting on each other's nerves. I toldja our relationship isn't perfect. We've been fighting over some petty things, which were blown out of proportion and we've been giving each other the silent treatment…long distance relationship style.

How is the silent treatment different when it's long distance?

Well, to tell you honestly, I am not the type to give the silent treatment when we were still together (physically I mean). I was the one who was running after him. Desperate ba? Hehehe. Hope not so.

But I must say the silent treatment has worked in a long distance relationship setting. There are times that we were both just waiting for each other to initiate. One time, Dodong was the one who gave in (I guess he was oblivious since he was too busy to bother with me). And in another time, I was the one who initiated the conversation. I just couldn't bear not talking to my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Howell.

Did the silent treatment work well for you too?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Roses are red, violets are blue. We don't celebrate Valentine's, so how do you?

Dodong is not a believer in Valentine's Day because he thinks its a capitalist holiday. Oh, sorry to the true blue romantics out there. I was slowly brainwashed to think the same too. Unfortunately. We can celebrate love everyday naman di ba? Plus flowers and dinners are not as expensive on a regular day right?

The only day we've ever been close to actually celebrating it was the Valentine's Day before he left for the desert. We had a Valentine's Buffet Dinner at Seven Corners, Crowne Plaza Manila: eat-all-you-can buffet complete with Tuxedo Strawberries and Champagne.

Look at the cute but uber expensive tuxedo strawberries

The Valentine theme was cute with the Tuxedo Strawberries above. But it was such a rip-off because it cost me an arm and a leg. We usually eat at Seven Corners, Crowne Plaza but the Valentine's dinner costed us +Php 1,000 (around +US$ 20)  more than the usual. Ouch. Yes ako po ang nagbayad. Hehehe. But what the heck, it was hitting three birds with one stone: the desert despedida (most important of all!), early anniversary celebration which is every 16th of the month (but again we don't celebrate on a monthly basis) and Valentine's Day.

Last year, our 1st Valentine's Day apart, we didn't do anything special. I though that it would somehow change (because of the distance apart and all). But it didn't. Hehehe. It was just like any ordinary long distance relationship day. Nothing extra romantic, unlike our 7th year anniversary. Old habits die hard I guess.

But for other LDR couples out there, who I am sure are very different from us (believing in Valentine's Day and all), how do you celebrate the most romantic day of the year?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

P.S. Pls forgive my crappy photos. I still have no decent working camera Tear….

Is there a cure for homecoming hangover?

I therefore conclude that I am still on homecoming hangover. If you notice, its been quite a while since my last post. A week to be exact.

What the hell is homecoming hangover?!? Over the course of almost 2-years of Dodong's back-and-forth from Dubai and home, we've both noticed a particular behavior pattern we have during the 1st week post-homecoming. And I now officially coin it as the homecoming hangover

So what are the signs of homecoming hangover?

#1: Persistent sigh-ing

There are two word that pop up almost every after 10-lines of our daily (more than once a day) IM conversations: sigh and hay (the Filipino word for sigh). They even come in the all caps version: SIGH and HAAAAAAAAAY. Oh, did I also say they creep up in the daily journals too? Sigh.

#2: Consistent reporting for duty

Well, Dodong and I do our fair share of reporting for duty. Meaning, we both inform each other of our itinerary for the day. On a regular day, because we're both busy going through the day-to-day things and sometimes get caught up in it, we kind of forget to report to each other. But post-homecoming, we do update each other every single day on the smallest, most frivolous details of the day. Sigh.

#3: Taking the time off to stare at each others photos

Sometimes I just find myself staring at the photos taken during the homecoming. Or, if none were taken, I just stare at our photos on Facebook, multiply and others. I even changed my Facebook profile photo to our picture. Sigh. The photos just trigger the giddy warm feeling of him being next to me. Sigh.

I am also pleasantly surprised that Dodong also does this. He texts or emails me that he finds himself going though my historical reel of pictures on Facebook. Now ain't that sweet and swoon worthy? Hay.

I miss him. I really, really, really do…Sigh.

Okay did I say we sigh a lot? Oh yeah, I did. Hehehe.

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Photo from www.iseeyouseeingme.wordpress.com

YES!!! You've read it right. Dodong is back home…but for only three days. A quickie homecoming! Happy but sad Happy because he is home. OF COURSE! And sad since it's only three days. But what the heck, he's home!

SOOOOO….I will be on blogging hiatus this week. Hehehe. I hope you'd understand that every homecoming second counts.

Tootles!

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

I should have stumbled upon this song eons ago! But thank God for friends who are also in long distance relationships who have posted interesting info on their facebook pages. So a special shout out to Ankat Salamat! Muchos Gracias! Danke!

This is precisely the feeling I share with thousands, oh maybe millions of people in long distance relationships far and wide: it's just so damn hard being apart! Every single day, I do wish that Dodong would be home to share so many milestones (and pitfalls) in my life. But we can't really. He has to be there and I have to be here.

Argh! Grabe this song! And without further ado, here are the lyrics to this uber PERFECT long distance relationship song…

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.
And i`m running out of things to do to get you off my mind (oh whoa).
All i have is this picture in a frame (oh ah),
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be,
But we`re stuck where we are.
It`s so hard, you`re so far..
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me,
But we`re stuck where we are
It`s so hard, you`re so far.. (so hard, you`re so far..)
This long distance is killing me.

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days.. (whoa oh whoa)
While i`m away (way-ay)
You know right now i can`t be home (ah)
But i`m coming home soon (ah)
Coming home soon.. (ah a hah)
All i have is this picture in a frame (ah),
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be (where i`d rather be..),
But we`re stuck where we are (oh oh).
It`s so hard, (oh ah) you`re so far.. (oh ah)
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me),
But we`re stuck where we are (oh oh)
It`s so hard, (oh ah) you`re so far.. (oh ah)

Can you hear me crying?
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Can you hear me crying? (oh-oh ah!)
Ooh (oh-oh oh-oh)
Ooh woo whoa ah ah oh ah (oh-oh ah!)
Uh ah uh ah whoa0h ah (oh-oh oh-oh)

With you is where i`d rather be (where i`d rather be..) whoa!
(but we`re stuck where we are) oh!
(it`s so hard) so hard (your so far), so far
(this long distance is killing me) this long distance is killing me
I wish that you are here with me (you are here with me) me..
(but we`re stuck where we are) stuck where we are! so hard! so far
This long distance is killing me

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
(so hard, so hard, where we are, where we are, your so far).
This long distance is killing me.

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.

I do love what the distance has done for me and Dodong, but I really can't deny the fact that it is not easy. Oh yes, so many songs to pass the time but sometimes even listening to too much songs does make me crazy.

What to you do to get you past the missing you crazy stage?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Killing loneliness doesn't have to be a suicide mission

Earlier this week, I was just feeling down in the dumps wanting to rid this gripping feeling of loneliness.In our almost two-years in a long distance relationship, the loneliness pops up, creeps up once in a while…maybe even regularly. Once a month? Once in a quarter? I have not taken note of the patterns just yet. But it never totally disappears. I just wanted to kill it. Yes, kill the loneliness. At least temporarily.

And I worked hard to do so. What best killed that bastard called loneliness this time?

A wee bit of reassurance from Dodong

I was afraid to share the heaviness of the loneliness load with Dodong but I knew I just had to. I had to go straight to the "source" of all loneliness. And I just literally poured my heart out…it wasn't a pretty sight. Well, he didn't see it since we did not engage in webcam chat (I guess it would be painful for him too. Another nuisance of a long distance relationship). So tears, tears, and more tears galore.

But then after two consecutive nights of loneliness dumping, I did feel better. Plus it made me fall in love all over again with Dodong because he truly does love me seeing me going through that emotional ordeal. Thank you.

A whole lot of comfort from friends

I just had to share the load. So I emailed and chatted with my friends, M and C, who've known me since grade school. They know Dodong and our LDR (well, they've seen us grow through the 7+ years) I even wrote a loooooooooong loneliness sob story on Facebook. Their listening ears and reality-slapping words helped put things back into perspective.

And just getting out of the house, meeting up with other friends, made the overpowering loneliness slowly fade away…

Last, but not the least, some booze and good food

Okay, I am a certified food addict. When I'm lonely, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. Hehehe. So in this case, I treated myself to some good eats at the ff: Qasa 61 with my good friend E and her boyfriend C, Uncle Moe's Shawarma with C and Le Ching with myself (Okay, I'm such an addict I can actually eat out by myself).

Booze? I had a little. Not so much. But there's something about being inebriated that messes up with your feelings. In my case, it did in a good way.

So today, I am definitely feeling much better. Loneliness killed…again, at least temporarily. So it's back to regular long distance relationship programming

How do you kill your LDR loneliness?

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Today is quite a lonely day. I hate it. I am definitely feeling EMO. And while surfing, I stumbled upon this song: Killing Loneliness by HIM.

Perfect.

The lyrics don't make any sense in my teary state. But what the heck. I just want to kill this loneliness…

Memories, sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Nailed to the cross, together
As solitude begs us to stay
Disappear in the lie forever
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness

Killing loneliness

With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me

So how do you kill your loneliness? HELP.

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

Bond strengthened by the distance

It was fate to have reconnected with Shelley during our high school reunion last December. She was recently married to her husband, Dave, who is in the US Navy based in Japan last October.

What is extra cute about this couple: Dave shares his version of their love story And I think he is a gem since not all guys are like that. Hehehe. I know Dodong isn't! Well I think at least now he isn't. Hehehe. Dave writes extensively but I assure you it is worth your time

Here is Dave and Shelley's story on Loving the Distance….

Share with us your long distance love story.

After graduating from college in 2006, I decided to take off to the United States to live with my mom and dad and to seek opportunities. Parting was one of the hardest moments we have felt, and this is really a big, big step especially after being solidly together for 5 years.

Nights of conversations became loneliness at times. Longing for each other could really get depressing too.

The following year I landed a job working for the US Navy. To go through the stage of the boot camp training, we need to be isolated for about 3 months meaning, no internet nor phone calls. We were only allowed one phone call to tell immediate family members that we safely arrived the recruitment center. I opted to call Shelley to tell her that everything's fine. The best thing I could tell her everything is through snail mail. Each and every time someone delivers letters, I would always wait that one that came from the Philippines. I believe that those moments were the loneliest.

After boot camp training and "A" school, I requested to be assigned in Okinawa Japan in a Naval Hospital so that there will just be a little time difference to where Shelley's at, and thankfully, it was granted! Nearer, but still apart, Shelley and I kept the communication lines open and the fondness grew stronger despite the distance. We could not say for sure that it was as smooth sailing as before, but every time I plan to go back, I always find myself anxious to come home to the Philippines just to be with her again. On December of 2008, During one of my trips back home, Shelley and I went to Boracay island to officially ask for her hand.

A year after, which was our 8th year being together, we got married on the 26th of October 2009 at the Mandaluyong City Hall of Justice. We had a simple gathering with family members only.  It was one the happiest days of our lives.  After the ceremonies, we went out and had simple dinner at Makati. Though simple the celebrations were, we were both glad we finally did it! And now, I am in the process of taking care of the paperwork that will get her to me, for good.

What are the Top 3 Challenges you have faced in your LDR?

Making use of technology to nurture that LOVE!

1. TRUST – For you to trust someone most of the time, it requires you to be there to see for yourself what's happening. Believe me, no room for errors on this one. Once broken, it'll be as twice as difficult to fix.
2. Physical presence – The touch, kiss, hugs, etc… are still different when they are felt rather that typed. Being in a steady relationship for 5 years made it really challenging for us. However, the anticipation would always gets us excited, making us feel that it was all worth the wait.
3. Misunderstanding – Yes, even in simple cases of typing messages, emails, even the tone in speaking could be misleading and thus simple petty fights can happen, which shouldn't have to begin with.

How did the distance help you build your relationship into what it is now?

The Proposal!

The distance made us struggle because it's hard when you badly want someone to comfort you when no one else is there. However, it builds you as a person because it makes you stronger to think that it's…just distance!  It made us stronger in a way that through an experience such as this, you will now know what you have to do and how to cope with it. Distance helped us both grow in a way and helped a lot in our maturity as individuals.  It helped us learn that complaining would just stress us both. Instead, find solutions! If it doesn't work, try again! Distance is now just a factor, and not a problem anymore.

What are the Top 3 words of wisdom you can share to those in LDRs like yourselves?

Yiheee! KISS!

1. Communication is ALWAYS the key. It is much easier now than in pre-historic times! Also, be clear with the messages you are sending out and never assume. If anythings unclear, ask away. "Tampuhans" can only worsen it.
2. Have a plan, the PLAN being in the end you'll end up together. Just like what a wise man once said, "begin with the end in mind".
3. Make every effort to get each other closer to you physically or emotionally. In our case, we are both diligently working on our paper work to get to that goal of being there physically. On the emotional aspect, daily assurance is also a key factor.

See? You can make it through the distance just as Dave and Shelley did Keep that love alive guys!

Love the distance,

Inday I. Nagintay

P.S. If you want to share your own long distance love story, email us@lovingthedistance.com